Dear the deer met up with two of his friends, Deer and Deere. Deere and Deer were having a meeting with Dear. “Dear, my dear,” said Deer, “Shall we start the meeting?” “Sure!” cried Deere. Deer was cross. “I called Dear, not you, Deere!”

“But you DID call me!”

“Did not!”

“Did too!”

“Did not!”

“Did not! Oops I mean…”

“There! You said it not!”

“But I DID say something! I did not say nothing!”

Dear shouted, “SHUT UP! YOU’RE MAKING NO SENSE AT ALL!!!!”

Deer shouted, “OH YOU SHUT UP! WE ARE HAVING A MEETING! DEERE AND I!”

“Oh, yes! ME AND YOU! ME AND YOU, DEAR DEER!”

“SHUT UP YOU TWO!!!” yelled Deere. “This is getting us nowhere!”

“But where IS Nowhere? Is it a continent, a country or a city?” asked Dear.

They made so much noise that a hunter heard them from 60 metres away. He sneaked up behind Dear…

Deer and Deere saw the hunter, but not Dear. Deer and Deere yelled as loudly as they could. A gunman heard the noise and saw that the hunter was his arch enemy. He crept up behind the hunter. Deere snorted. A woman nearby thought it was her husband, but when she looked around, she only saw the gunman, who had killed her grandpa, Grand Mr Pa. She took a chopper and edged slowly to the gunman.

The hunter fired his arrow! 32 split seconds after that the gunman fired! And 78 split seconds after that the woman sliced the gunman’s head off! She saw the hunter and realized that IT WAS HER HUSBAND! The hunter was so angry for killing his arch enemy which HE was supposed to kill that he grabbed the chopper and sliced the woman’s head off too.

After that, he took Dear home to make the skin into something not useful (he did that just for fun). He skinned Dear. Just then, smoke appeared from the kitchen! His silly, ugly wife had left the bloomin’ cookin’ stove unattended! He picked up a cloth, wet it and started hitting the fire. In the end, the fire was put out. But he had left the body of dear Dear in the fire! He looked at the cloth. It was actually Dear’s skin. How silly. He suddenly felt hungry. He searched the refrigerator, the freezer and the larder for food, but there was no food. In the end, he pooped in his pants. Wait no, he ate Dear. It was so delicious! He named the meat after his wife, Venison. And that’s how venison was discovered! Hurray!

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