A pig called Peeg had fallen sick. He had eaten three bananas in a row. He coughed, he spluttered, he vomited, and worse of all… he BURPED… wait no, that’s not it, his poo was YELLOW and smelt of chicken. The farmer, Farm Er, was very worried if the sickness would spread to the other fellow pigs, Pig, Peeeg, Peeeeg and Peeeeeeeeeeee.So Farm Er decided to slaughter poor Peeg. Pig, Peeeg, Peeeeg and Peeeeeeeeeeee were very relieved. They hated Peeg because if they took out one e from his name, his name would be Peg, and that does not rhyme with Pig.

“Oh, Pig, Peeeg, Peeeeg and Peeeeeeeeeeee! Help me!” cried Peeg. Peeeg and Peeeeg were cross. “You like Pig the best!” they cried. “You keep saying his name so many times, but not ours! Peeeeeeeeeeee is also lucky that you called him once!” Peeg was sad. He thought, Peeeg and Peeeeg are so bad!I called them too, but they think I called Pig and Peeeeeeeeeeee only! Big sillies, they are. Farm Er took the chopper and marched towards Peeg. Peeg tried to run, but he was looking back at Farm Er, and tripped and fell all over Peeeeeeeeeeee’s poo. “Ew!” cried Peeeg.”You stink, Peeeeeeeeeeee!” Peeeeeeeeeeee did not hear him as he was listening to Farm Er’s MP3.Farm Er did not see Peeg and fell over him into Peeeeeeeeeeee’s poo and accidentally sliced Peeg’s neck. “ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”

All of Peeg’s blood splattered onto Peeeeeeeeeeee’s poo and “dyed” it red. Farm Er did not see it and thought it was a splattered tomato.He loved tomatoes and so, he ate it all up. “Best one I ever had,” he kept saying. “Best one ever.”He forgot all about Peeg’s dead body after that. It was left in a little wooden shed which Farm Er had named “LWSAVVN” (Little wooden sheds are very very nice).

One day, there was a great famine.Farm Er, his wife, Er Farm and his son did not have anything to eat. Farm Er went into LWSAVVN to look for food. However, he only found… Peeg.

He took a bite. “Yum!” he cried. “Let’s cook it!” He did, and named it after his son, Pork.

And that’s how pork was discovered! (Not really)